MTV`s Celebrity Deathmatch [ Colombo-bt.org]

Fight 1: Howard Stern releases his corrosive flatulence on Kathie Lee Gifford, causing her to be melted.

Fight 2: Pam Anderson shoved RuPaul's shoe through her eye socket. Also featuring Marv Albert (guest commentator).

Fight 1: Bill Clinton accidentally tells Paula Jones to 'Grab [my] nuts' through Stacy Cornbred's microphone so he could have the peanuts he ordered earlier. This was misunderstood by both combatants, who turned on him. Bill then fled the arena in a Secret Service helicopter. Gennifer Flowers is accidentally hit in the face with Monica's trap-bladed beret thrown at Hillary. Featuring Bill Clinton, Paula Jones and Gennifer Flowers.

Fight 2: Jim Carrey's head explodes when Mariah Carey sang and held a very high note, much to the displeasure of every spectator and arena staff. Featuring Drew Carey.

Fight 3: Tim and Jerry both fought poorly throughout the entire fight until Jerry's co-stars, who were spectators, got into the ring and killed Jerry, feeling that he betrayed them all by ending Seinfeld. Mills Lane accidentally throws a wrench at Don King's head. Featuring Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Michael Richards.

Fight 1: Jerry Springer interfered with both combatants, causing a double disqualification and challenged the two for a match individually, postponing the fight to a later date. A popcorn vendor is crushed when Oprah accidentally knocks down a spotlight on top of him.

Fight 2: Both Liam's and Noel Gallagher's heads are smashed by Gallagher's mallet.

Fight 1: Bigfoot is sliced in half by the Loch Ness Monster's tail 6 seconds into the match. Don King is sliced in half by Loch Ness Monster's tail, and several audience members are crushed and eaten by the Loch Ness Monster. Also featuring Fran Drescher, Sean Connery, Mike Tyson, Pauly Shore and Carrot Top.

Fight 2: Mick Jagger stabs Steven Tyler through the chest with his gigantic tongue.

Fight 1: Siskel spins Ebert around by his thumb until the finger binds that hold their thumbs together break, sending Ebert flying into the support beam of the commentator's booth, splitting his skull in half. When Ebert hits the commentator's booth, Nick Diamond is thrown from the booth and put into a coma. Also featuring Spike Lee and Quentin Tarantino.

Fight 2: The first fight from the Deathmatch Vault, set in the 1960s. Jerry Lewis is whacked out of the ring by Dean Martin. Also featuring Frank Sinatra and Sammy Davis Jr..

Fight 1: Both fighters knocked each other out, to which Mills Lane called the match a draw. Both fighters decided on forfeits prior to the match, which both had to abide by. Also featuring Jack Nicholson (guest commentator replacing Nick Diamond throughout the episode).

Fight 2: This fight was a morphine-induced dream Nick Diamond has when Nicky Jr. was trying to call a nurse. The dream simply ends with both fighters punching each other. Also featuring Stacy Cornbred and Jimi Hendrix as a guest referee.

Fight 1: Fiona Apple is rolled over by John Popper and flattened. Also featuring Lenny Stanton, the executive producer's son as a guest commentator replacing Nick Diamond.

Fight 2: Gary Oldman's head is crushed in Christopher Walken's hands.

Fight 1: The first 'Battle of the Devastating Divas'. Both contestants fought with medieval weaponry. Barbra Streisand melts after drinking a bucket of water that Aretha Franklin had contaminated with the bubonic plague.

Fight 2: Bill and Michael were forced to fight because of a clerical error, since they had no sort of rivalry. Gates and Flatley are both slammed repeatedly in the ring by a robot version of Michael Flatley that Bill Gates built until both fighters broke into pieces.

Fight 1: Trent Reznor is sliced to bits by vinyl records thrown by Puff Daddy. Puff Daddy is sliced to bits by Trent Reznor's projectile 'Nine Inch Nails' (finger nails). Mills Lane later puts the pieces together in an amalgamation of both musicians.

Fight 2: Both fighters had the chance to choose a setting of how the ring would look for the fight by coin-toss. John wanted the set of Entertainment Tonight, while David wanted a Baywatch-like setting. In the end, Hasselhoff won and got a ring set up to look like a beach. John Tesh is crushed by KITT when David Hasselhoff asks him for help after his face gets torn off. David Hasselhoff's face and skull are ripped off when John Tesh unfolds an umbrella in his head. He collapses on top of KITT after the fight. Also featuring Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, David Spade and Steven Seagal

Fight 1: Vince McMahon is hit with the Stone Cold Stunner, which breaks his neck. Austin then beats the corpse to pieces with The Undertaker's tombstone gift, then throws the pieces into a casket, which is dragged out into a field and set on fire offscreen due to Austin's playing to the crowd.

Fight 2: Both fighters refused to fight, much to the displeasure of the fans. Mills Lane turned on the Fan of Fandemonium, a giant razor-bladed fan, which would slowly descend into the ring until there was a winner or both fighters would be sliced to pieces. Chris Rock does a Mexican liver punch and throws Adam Sandler outside the ring, impaling him on the control lever of the Fan of Fandemonium control panel, which then electrocutes him. After winning, security still wouldn't allow Rock to escape the ring, so he was chopped up by the Fan of Fandemonium as it malfunctioned. In Season 5, it shows that Chris Rock and Adam Sandler were both alive after their match.

Fight 1: A grudge match. David Spade had enraged Steven Seagal during the 'Missing Girl' episode and challenged him to a fight. Spade uses the waistband of his underwear as a slingshot to shoot one of Scottie Pippen's NBA championship rings through Segal's head. Also featuring Spike Lee.

Fight 2: Charles, Prince of Wales smashes Prince's head into his body with a croquet mallet. Also featuring Elizabeth II.

Fight 1: This fight wasn't planned. Céline was singing the national anthem when Keith attacked her from behind. Keith Flint's head is ripped off and eaten by Céline Dion, who then reveals herself to be Zatar the Alien. Zatar possesses Don King, causing him to faint after Zatar delivers a message through him.

Fight 2: This fight also wasn't planned. It was a Sci-Fi Q&A segment with Peter and Mark until Zatar killed them, enraging Nick to leave the booth and end Zatar's disruptive behavior. Two security guards accidentally shock each other while trying to stun Zatar with stun rods, who is dancing on the head of a catatonic Don King. Mark Hamill's and Peter Mayhew's heads are repeatedly slammed into the canvas by Zatar until both of them explode. Nick Diamond shoves his hand through Zatar's eyeball and pulls out his brains.

Fight 1: After being pinned under Roseanne for two rounds, Kelsey escaped the pin by slipping out of his own skin. Roseanne had a heart attack when she saw Kelsey's skinless body and promptly died.

Fight 2: Courtney Love is mauled to pieces by an angry mama bear when Brandy tried to give Courtney its cub as a peace-offering.

Fight 1: Dolly Parton floats into space and explodes after her breasts are over-inflated by her special breast enlarging armor. Both ladies fight with special armor that could enlarge their body parts at will. Dolly's enlarge her breasts and Jennifer's enlarge her ass. Featuring Michael Buffer and Ruth Westheimer (as a guest commentator).

Fight 2: Michael Jackson turns himself into a hamster using Moonwalkermagic and gets kicked into the pool of acid by Madonna. This fight wasn't planned. It is a performance by Madonna when Michael Jackson interrupted. The fight takes place in a ring surrounded by a pool of hydrochloric acid.

Fight 1: Featuring Vanilla Ice. The ring is turned into an ice skating rink, completing the 'Better Ice' theme. Ice Cube freezes after falling beneath the ice rink. Later unfrozen after his ice block crushes Vanilla Ice. Vanilla Ice runs over Ice-T with an Ice resurfacer. Vanilla Ice is crushed by the frozen Ice Cube, who had been hanging above the ring on a crane.

Fight 2: The first 'Actor's Showcase Showdown'. Both contestants fight while playing characters from their movies. Al Pacino's head is destroyed after being whacked repeatedly with Nelson de la Rosa when De Niro was still in his Al Capone character. Featuring Marlon Brando (as a guest referee) and Nelson de la Rosa.

Fight 1: The fight takes place in a ring with office props from Ally McBeal while Lucy fights dressed as Xena. Calista launches herself from the ropes to attack Lucy, but Lucy ducks, causing Calista's head to get crammed inside Lucy's ass. Lucy slams herself into the canvas from a turnpost, trapping Calista inside herself until after the main event, when Calista is birthed out of Lucy Lawless alive. Featuring Maya Angelou and Dennis Franz

Fight 2: This fight is from a video found in a time capsule (dating back to 1985) after digging through the rubble from the previous episode's main event. Guest referee Ronald Reagan, believing Boy George is a woman, attacks Don Johnson to prevent him from harming Boy George any further. Johnson refuses to back down, so Reagan stuns him with a blow to the neck and then jumped off a turnbuckle onto Don's head, crushing it. Ruhollah Khomeini is disintegrated by a laser from Reagan's 'Star Wars' satellite defense program. Also featuring Philip Michael Thomas, Cyndi Lauper, and Mr. T.

Fight 1: David Schwimmer is launched from an ejection seat on a couch and into the sitcom set wall. He, as well as Courteney Cox, Jennifer Aniston and Lisa Kudrow, are crushed when the set collapsed. Featuring James Caan, Matt LeBlanc, and Matthew Perry

Fight 2: Roger Moore borrows a giant boulder from a cave woman and crushes Sean Connery under it.

Fight 1: Ramesses II impales Moses on a tiny pyramid. Harrison Ford knocks Pharaoh out of the ring. Moses crushes Ramesses II's henchmen with The Ten Commandments.

Fight 2: Viewers could call the fighters in this bout to tell them what they want to do to his opponent, a format similar to Larry King Live. Drew Barrymore's face is smashed in by the mystery killer. Larry King is crushed under a desk by Geraldo. Jamie Lee Curtis is slashed to death by the mystery killer.

Fight 1: This fight is taped in an arena in Sydney. Paul Hogan is impaled with a sharpened pole by Gibson and is then tossed onto a barbecue grill to get fried. Natalie Imbruglia is decapitated by a boomerang that Paul throws at Mel.

Fight 2: This fight was taped in an arena in Havana. Guest referee Fidel Castro's intestines fall out after Antonio Banderas blindly cuts him up. Antonio Banderas is repeatedly whacked like a piñata until his insides fall out. Featuring Andrés Cantor as a guest commentator.

Fight 1: Tyra Banks, Claudia Schiffer, and Kate Moss rip each other apart until all three are left as hideously deformed, yet still walking clumps.

Fight 2: Busta Rhymes runs into the time machine and is transported back to Shakespeare's time, making Shakespeare and Rhymes the winners by default.

Fight 1: The fighters fight to see who would direct the Celebrity Deathmatch movie. Martin Scorsese is decapitated by Oliver Stone's director's slate. Oliver Stone is impaled through the eye by a camera that falls from a helicopter.

Fight 2: The second fight from the Deathmatch Vault, taped in the 1950s. Both contestants are allowed to use props from their movies. Groucho uses comedy slapstick material and Wayne uses cowboy tools. John Wayne's head gets sliced after he was kicked into Harpo Marx's harp by Groucho. Also featuring Chico Marx.

Fight 1: Emeril Bagasse is cooked into a meal.

Fight 2: Jesse Camp Jesse's idiosyncratic speech and voice cause Mills Lane to believe that Jesse has brain damage. Mills 'euthanizes' him by hitting an elbow drop on his neck, breaking it. Featuring Monica.

Fight 1: A special device is placed in the arena to determine how popular the fighters are with the crowd throughout the match. Whenever the fighters' popularity decreases, they receive a shock to the behind. Ken Starr is thrown into the Liberty Bell, causing his head to explode. Featuring Hillary Clinton.

Fight 2: Bill Clinton dies after eating Saddam's burgers, which are infected with mad cow disease. Saddam Hussein is wrapped in the American flag and beaten to death with a flag pole. After killing Saddam, James Van Der Beek is arrested for desecrating an American flag, making the fight a no contest.

Fight 1: Emilio Estevez hires some prostitutes to distract Charlie while fighting. When the prostitutes are about to kill Charlie, they ask Emilio for their pay. But when Emilio can't pay them in cash, they rip him apart.

Fight 2: Donny and Marie Osmond argue during the match after Donny uses profane language. Their argument ends with both of them chewing each other's heads off (The Mormon Munch).

Fight 1: The fighters wear rooster costumes in a mock 'cock' fight in an underground dirt ring. Ron Jeremy is stabbed in the eye by Tommy Lee's erection.

Fight 2: This fight is a ladder match with a giant sack of money hanging over the ring. Jewel Alanis drops a bag of money on Jewel, turning her into a hockey puck. Alanis then whacks her into the light rigging, electrocuting her.

Fight 1: Both comedians use their comedic shtick against each other. Dennis uses obscure pop-culture references with biting wit and Carrot Top uses his box of props. Carrot Top pops after being inflated and turned into a balloon animal.

Fight 2: This fight takes place in a ring with a giant grill in the middle, literally making it a celebrity 'roast'. Rodney Dangerfield punches Don Rickles until he is reduced to pieces and then cooks him on a grill.

Fight 1: Ozzy Osbourne devours Elton John's head and attempts to swallow it. The head fails to go down his throat, so Queen Elizabeth II saves Ozzy by giving him the Heimlich Maneuver.

Fight 2: The ring is decorated like a house for Martha Stewart. Sandra Bernhard's entrails are removed by a scoop and used to make a Christmas ornament.

Fight 1: Ricky Schroder's body parts are kicked from him, putting him at Gary Coleman's height. Coleman jumps on his stomach and launches his head off. After the fight, Sammo Hung comes down to the ring, challenging Dennis Franz to a fight.

Fight 2: Lauryn Hill's corner is an actual street corner torn up from Newark, New Jersey and fashioned with street-related and weapons, while Shania Twain's corner is decorated like a farm, complete with farm implements to be used as weapons. Shania Twain's brain is sucked out by a milking machine.

Fight 1: A grudge match (Franz's co-star, Ricky Schroder, was killed in a previous Deathmatch by Hung's student, Gary Coleman). Sammy Hung's arms and legs are removed and then crushed when Dennis Franz jumps from the turnbuckle.

Fight 2: Steven Wright's intestines are pulled out through his mouth by Chris Tucker.

Fight 1: The second 'Battle of the Devastating Divas'. The fighters are given roadway construction equipment to fight with. Bette Milder pours hot tar over Cher's body and then flattens her head with a steamroller. Featuring Minkie Laboosh.

Fight 2: Benito Mussolini is impaled by Roberto Benigni when he accidentally shoots himself out of a tank cannon.

Fight 1: The ring is decorated with a graveyard theme. When the Werewolf turned back into a human, The Wolfman attempts to disqualify Frankenstein by saying he is already dead. Mills declares the Werewolf the winner until Frankenstein crushes the Werewolf's head, stealing the win from Werewolf. Featuring The Undertaker as a guest commentator.

Fight 2: This fight wasn't planned. Captain Doody possesses Nicky Jr., and Nick cries out to the Undertaker for help. The Undertaker complies, claiming that 'I'm the only evil guy on this show!' The Undertaker delivers his finishing move—the Tombstone Piledriver—to Captain Doody, ending his possession of Nicky Jr. Captain Doody flies out of Nicky Jr.'s body and into a nearby popcorn vendor. Featuring Bob Saget.

Fight 1: Richard Simmons' head explodes after he is tied into a bow by Blanks.

Fight 2: Don King is ripped in half after Trump jumps in his mouth.

Fight 1: The fighters are given 10 minutes before the match to build a killing machine using various metal bits and pieces. Both fighters are also allowed to reinvent the machine during the fight. Ben Affleck kicks Matt Damon into his automatic meat pulverizer, turning him into raw beef cake. Kirk Fosnaugh's spleen is torn out by John Tesh.

Fight 2: Ozzy Osbourne uses a skull splitter to crack open Rob Zombie's head and pulls out his brain. Ozzy then resurrects Rob as a zombie using backwards talking and Haitian Vodou magic. The zombified Rob Zombie continues to fight, but Ozzy attempts to destroy the zombie's brain by punting it into the air. Rob Zombie catches his brain, but then spikes it to the floor in celebration, which finishes him off.

Tiger Woods: Explodes after having dozens of tennis balls shot up his rectum.

Geena Davis: Stung by a scorpion while she was in desert on her way to the arena. She collapsed from exhaustion after releasing the CDM doves of peace from their cage, to which they immediately went feral on audience members.

Eriq La Salle: Edwards injects him with an intravenous bag containing malaria, causing him to turn yellow and decompose while at the same time, releasing lots of toxic gas in the arena.

Bryant Gumbel: Tossed through a window and sliced into various pieces by its destroyed glass.

Judge Judy: Judge Mills Lane shoves a lamp on her while she is knocked into a chair, causing her to be electrocuted.

Craig Kilborn: Tom Green puts a megaphone in Craig Kilborn's mouth and screams, blowing out the back of his head.

Pierce McCrack: Cousin Grimm rips out his spinal column and impales him with it.

Carson Daly: Innards torn out by Joe C.

Eminem: After kicking Joe C. up to the top of the arena, he falls on Eminem's head, taking control of Eminem's body.

Kid Rock: After not acknowledging Joe C's efforts to help him win, Joe C. (using Eminem's body) jumps on Kid Rock, crushing his chest repeatedly.

Kevin Costner:Eaten alive by a shark just like a cannibal after getting put into a package and mailed to the Atlantic Ocean.

Trent Lott: Senator Ted Kennedy steps on his head and crushes it.

Orrin Hatch: Senator Ted Kennedy beats him to death with a chair.

Several Jury Members: Senator Ted Kennedy crushes them when he throws a table and some chairs into the jury.

Phil Gramm and Richard Shelby: Heads smashed together by Senator Ted Kennedy.

Strom Thurmond: Died of a heart attack while watching the fight. He became too excited, which led to his cardiac arrest.

Tony Danza: Face ripped off by Salem Saberhagen.

Melissa Joan Hart and Salem Saberhagen: Crushed by a stake pole.

Reese Witherspoon: Sliced to pieces by the ropes after she is accidentally knocked into them by Scott Wolf.

Jennifer Love Hewitt: After the fight, when Jennifer is about to be crowned prom queen, Betty-Sue Olsen rips a rotisserie chicken out of Jennifer's stomach through her back

Pamela Anderson: Pamela overuses her upgraded radioactive breasts on Heather. This causes them to malfunction and then to explode Pamela to her death.

Tommy Lee: Lowered by Heather Locklear into a crate full of hungry baby tree monkeys.

Martin Lawrence: Head crushed by Kevin Bacon after Mills declared him unfit to fight.

Jesse Ventura: Kevin Bacon punches a hole through his body, climbs into the hole, and tears him in half.

No Deaths: While the Satyr is distracted by a woman in the audience, Nick shoves a Roman Candle up his rectum, which blows him in half. This does not kill the Satyr, but it is enough to end the fight.

Jack the Ripper: Impaled by the knives hanging in his coat when Sherlock Holmes buttons it for him.

Zack de la Rocha and Tom Morello: Crushed and sliced to pieces. Their remains are both stuffed into jars afterward.

Fred Durst: Is stuffed with metal objects via vacuum cleaner (in reverse). Each object rips through him when the turnbuckle magnets turn on.

James Hetfield, Mick Foley, and Mills Lane: After Mick Foley gets locked out of the arena, he shows up from the skylight and dives into the ring, causing it to implode upon himself, Mills and Hetfield. All three are later revealed to survive.

James Gandolfini: Flushed down a high-powered toilet.

Christian Slater: Robert uses a meat slicer, which he smuggled into the ring, to grind him to pieces turning him into porkchops.

Popcorn Vendor: Nolte dunks his head in his candy cart's deep fry vat.

Eddie Murphy: Nick Nolte tears his heart out and shoves it in his mouth.

Courtney Love: Dave Grohl chews through a wire holding a self-playing piano to the roof of the Dome of Devastation, causing it to fall on top of Courtney Love.

Paul Reiser: David Arquette puts a cell phone in Paul Reiser's head. The radiation emitted from the phone causes his head to explode.

Tionne 'T-Boz' Watkins: She's sitting down on a table when Emily Robinson lands on it sending the table sky high and it whacks her head off.

Emily Robison: Smashed through a mirror when she is catapulted by Lisa 'Left-Eye' Lopes and bleeds to death.

Rozonda 'Chilli' Thomas: Martie Maguire throws alcohol bottles into her mouth, then jumps on her head and her head is blown to pieces by the broken beer bottles.

Martie Maguire and Natalie Maines: Lisa 'Left Eye' Lopes unties a chandelier that is above them and when it falls it crushes Martie and blows Natalie to pieces.

Lisa 'Left-Eye' Lopes: Hacked to pieces by Lucy Lawless upon trying to steal her trophy after the fight.

The Mummy: One of his bandages gets caught on an audience member's watch, causing the Mummy to unravel. Brendan hits him in the butt with a chair, causing the Mummy's spine to fly out through the top of his skull.

All Zombies: Explode after eating the chunks of zombie Stacey Cornbred.

Diana Ross: Head burned via x-ray machine.

Random Audience Member: Shot by Mills Lane.

Charlton Heston: Crushed by the collapsing Tower of Terror.

Keenen Ivory Wayans: A hallucinating Daniel smashes his head open while thinking he's a TV set.

Alec Baldwin: A hallucinating Daniel bites off his head while thinking he's a cop trying to arrest him. (His head remains alive and intact).

Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, William Baldwin and Stephen Baldwin: Are not saved from the rising tide.

Timmy Leland: Nick Diamond pushes him down a flight of stairs (Death unconfirmed).

Mike Myers: Dana shoved Mike's own right hand & pinkie finger through one of his nostrils which caused impalement into the top of his skull causing him to bleed to death within only a few seconds.

James Haven: Blown up by a bomb that he had fetched out from Angelina's ass.

Sandra Bullock: Angelina stretches out her lips and places them on opposite ring posts. She proceeds to suck in air, drawing Sandra towards her until her lips whip off the ring posts and slice Sandra in half.

Random Audience Member: Torn to shreds and eaten alive by Zatar the Alien while complementing Zatar.

Potato Khan: Is sliced by a grate that Cousin Grimm was holding. He regenerates as numerous small pieces, he doesn't die since he eventually recomposes after killing Cousin Grimm.

Cousin Grimm: After eating the small remains of Potato Khan, they get into his brain, hurting him from the inside. He tries to get them out by smashing his head into the turnbuckle and bashing his head with his club, the end result being that he smashes his own head in.

Samuel L. Jackson: Sliced into pieces with a reciprocating saw and made into a birdhouse.

George Lucas: In an attempt to escape from fans, George Lucas gets caught in a Death Star-style garbage disposal and is eventually crushed at the end of the episode.

Celebrity Deathmatch Audience: Vaporized when Zatar blows the arena to pieces with a giant blast from his space ship. This was an obvious homage to Independence Day. It was revealed that Zatar did this as a plot to get back at Nick for breaking his eye three years earlier.

Joey Fatone: Head crushed against a wall (Mentioned to have lived next episode).

Several Audience Members: The Backstreet Beast stomps them flat when it takes control of the deceased Backstreet Boys' bodies.

Backstreet Boys: While in the form of the Backstreet Beast, Justin Timberlake & Chris Kirkpatrick electrocutes them with some electric wires.

Fight 1: Lil' Kim pushes Little Richard's organs out of the holes where his nipples used to be. Featuring John Tesh as a guest commentator.

Fight 2: Leelee feeds Helen Hunt her own hair, which is so long that it flows through her ears from her mouth. Leelee pulls the hair sticking through Helen's ears, causing her head to implode, resulting in the removal of her brain. After she kills Helen, Leelee pretends to be Helen to steal her fame and her career; she then rips the skin off Helen's hands and feet and puts them on like gloves and shoes, respectively, so fingerprints and footprints can confirm it.

Fight 1: Steve Irwin accidentally decapitates Medusa when she pushed him away after he put a ruck-sack over her head.

Fight 2: Drew Carey scratches his own face leaving it with zero skin after Ray slingshotted his protective cup into his face, causing his face to break out in jock itch uncontrollably.

Fight 1: Keri Russell accidentally swallows a helium tank whole, something that leaves her body severely deformed and is later inflated by the helium to mass proportions and popped by Claire Danes, who used hydrogen-peroxide darts. Katie Holmes dies in the explosion of Keri Russell.

Fight 2: Johnny shoves a microphone down Sam Donaldson's throat, then Nick Diamond puts a hose in Sam's mouth. The firefighters in the stadium turn on the water, filling Sam's stomach with water and electrocuting him.

Fight 1: Meat Loaf's head us cracked open after he lands headfirst on the steel chairs leading to the ring. He is later revived by fans in the audience who were listening to his trademark baseline. But, in a direct imitation of Korn's music video Freak on a Leash, he is shot by a piece of corn that came from Jonathan Davis's butt after it ricochets around the arena and bounces off the turnbuckle after the latter is kicked into the booth by Meat Loaf.

Fight 2: Colonel Sanders is decapitated by a hen Dave Thomas had rescued from him. Colonel Sanders's headless body runs around until it falls into a deep-frier.

Fight 1: Albert Einstein's brain is squeezed out after being wrapped in his own tongue.

Fight 2: After Scott Stapp's larynx is torn apart by barbed wire, Tom Waits enters the ring believing that Scott was trying to steal his characteristic voice. Tom punches Scott in the face until his head is crushed.

Fight 1: The two combatants try to climb to the top of a pole with Harvey Weinstein perched at the top, ready to offer the winner the leading role in a film. Corey Haim is rushed by Weinstein. Corey Feldman and Harvey Weinstein are impaled by the pole.

Fight 2: Lisa Ling is kicked through the skull. Featuring Barbara Walters.

Fight 1: Frankie tricks Robert Iler into eating spiked ravioli, stuffed with antacids. As a result, Iler's stomach explodes. Featuring Gilbert Gottfried.

Fight 2: Stephen King is electrocuted by a lightning bolt manifested by the magic of Lord Voldemort. The lightning activates King's mechanical leg, which knocks off J. K. Rowling's head.

Fight 1: A replay of 'Cousin Grimm vs. Pierce McCrack' from season 3, episode 4.

Fight 2: A replay of 'Beni Trauma vs. Potato Khan' from season 3, episode 12.

Fight 1: A replay of 'Cousin Grimm vs. Pierce McCrack' from season 3, episode 4.

Fight 2: A replay of 'Beni Trauma vs. Potato Khan' from season 3, episode 12.

Fight 1: James Brown is crushed by an overhead light after the lasers he was firing from his feet bounced off of Chuck Berry and hit the light.

Fight 2: George Michael is ripped apart by a tiger that was awakened when Paul said the secret word 'Sucker', causing everyone in the Arena to scream wildly. Both combatants are dressed as Roman gladiators using spare parts as armor and weapons.

Fight 1: Anne Robinson's ovaries and internal organs were ripped out.

Fight 2: A giant 8-ball is shoved in John Edward's throat, and he is then decapitated.

Fight 1: John Rocker is electrocuted by a Die-Hard battery.

Fight 2: Janet Jackson's front is ripped off, causing her internal organs to spill out.

Fight 1: Bill Maher's skull is stomped through. Then Conan picks his face and plays with it in a gag similarly seen on Conan's own talkshow.

Fight 2: Fergie's chest explodes after Anna Nicole marries her in a move known as the Black Widow Wipeout. Featuring Ted Turner.

Fight 1: Björk is sliced in half by Johann Sebastian Bach's plow while complementing Bach. Bach twists Beck's neck and punches his head off. Beck fights with a portable set of two turntables and a microphone, while Björk fights with a keyboard with a miniature mixing board and a sound generator.

Fight 2: Fergie's chest explodes after Anna Nicole marries her in a move known as the Black Widow WipeoutTony Bennett is disintegrated by a red laser light launched from Willie Nelson's third eye, revealed after Willie removed his bandanna.

Fight 1: Jenna Elfman's upper section of her body is shredded by Kathy Griffin's 'motor mouth.' Both contestants are forced to fight with socks in their mouths so they wouldn't talk.

Fight 2: Charlie Chaplin is flattened by a train. Featuring Roscoe Arbuckle.

Fight 1: LL Cool J is sliced into pieces by a spring removed by a chair. The ring is decorated like the set of The Queen Latifah Show.

Fight 2: Mandy Moore is stabbed in the ears with her sharpened lollipop. Her brains are then blown through her ear and spilled on the mat of the ring causing her to bleed to death.

Fight 1: Lenny Kravitz is forced to swallow Jimi Hendrix's vomit, which gets stuck in his throat. Jimi Hendrix then pushes him into the ropes and clotheslined him, causing his throat to explode.

Fight 2: Shaggy is impaled by a ring post by Marley continuously until his entire body is festered with holes. Bob Marley then uses the ringpost as a blunt to smoke Shaggy's remains.

Fight 1: Paris Hilton got burned to death by Nicole Richie's flamethrower disguised as a perfume bottle.

Fight 2: Vert ramps have been placed in the ring, allowing the combatants to fight and skate at the same time. Tony Hawk is eaten alive by Don Vito, who was actually trying to eat Bam. Also featuring 'The Masked Man.'

Fight 1: Bono and Chris Martin plan to perform a charity concert to raise enough money to get the violent CDM canceled (much to the disgust of the audience and the announcers), but disagree over who would perform first, thus starting the match. Chris Martin's feet, arms, eyes, and heart ripped out. Also featuring 'The Masked Man.'

Fight 2: Both Kutcher's and Willis' heads are kicked off by Demi Moore.

Fight 1: Referee Mills Lane gets the fighters drunk to get them to fight harder. Colin Farrell is sliced in half with his own spear by a drunken Charlie Sheen.

Fight 2: Ryan stabs Simon's ears with a leg removed from a stool. Also featuring Paula Abdul.

Fight 1: Two lollipops are pierced through Gwen Stefani's eyes, and her head is twisted off.

Fight 2: Several audience members are sucked into Justin Timberlake's tornado after he uses his 'Tornado Spin' dance move. Justin Timberlake's brain is obliterated by Federline. First, Kevin melts a part of it with his horrible rap (which only Mills Lane enjoys), and then he destroys the rest of it by punching Timberlake through the side of the head.

Fight 1: Several times throughout the fight Jamie Kennedy disguises himself as other people to prank Ali G like in his show The Jamie Kennedy Experiment. Ali G's fingers and eyebrows are removed, and his stomach is slashed open by his own necklace.

Fight 2: Rob Schneider is flattened when Rodney Dangerfield successfully pulls off a Triple Lindy, the diving move he used in the movie Back to School.

Fight 1: The fighters are given spare vehicle parts to build their own deathmobiles. Xzibit is ripped in half at the torso by Paul Teutul Sr.'s mutated mustache.

Fight 2: Jack Black's head explodes after Jack and Meg White force a tightly buttoned shirt on him.

Fight 1: Chris Farley dies out of heart attacks before the fight could even start. However, since he died before the fight officially started, Mills Lane brings him back to life over and over again. Chris Farley finally makes it to the ring and kills Horatio Sanz by pulling on his tongue until his insides come out. Also featuring Albert Einstein as a guest commentator throughout the episode.

Fight 2: Christian Bale is crushed by a giant spotlight when West flings him into the lights, which knocks them down on top of Christian.

Fight 1: William Hung attacks Ricky in a bullet time attack when the camera cuts to Nick Diamond. When it cuts back, Ricky Martin is dead, apparently from severe cuts and removal of the eyes.

Fight 2: Both contestants are allowed to choose a weapon for the fight. Tommy Lee decides to use his drum kit while Pamela Anderson chooses to use her colossal breasts, which at one point traps an audience member. Pamela tricks Tommy into believing she still loves him after he proposes to her again. When Tommy isn't looking, Pam crushes Tommy's head between her enormous breasts.

Fight 1: Kristin Cavallari sliced Mischa Barton's head off with her father's black American Express card.

Fight 2: Tobey Maguire is beaten to death with his own leg, much to the dismay of Mills Lane.

Fight 1: Mike Jones is shredded into pieces by Paul Wall's monster chainsaw grill.

Fight 2: Steve-O is eaten alive by Andy Milonakis after dressing up as a Twinkie. Also featuring Wubbie.

Fight 1: Rodney Peete has his own leg impaled through his face by Rob Dibble. John Salley's head flies off after an uppercut from Rob Dibble and landed on a turnbuckle. Rob Dibble's arms fall off and he bleed to death. After Mills Lane tells Chris Rose to 'Stick a cork in it,' after he got annoyed by Chris' chattering, Rose actually sticks a cork in his mouth, causing him to inflate. He flies up into the lights and explodes.

Fight 2: Carson Daly slices off Jimmy Kimmel's legs with the lid of a spinach can (in reference to Popeye, as it seemed Carson would eat the spinach) and then uses one of Jimmy's legs as a golf club to decapitate Jimmy. To add more golf related pun, Jimmy Kimmel's head lands in a garbage can (a 'Hole-in-one').

Fight 1: Since both Bow Wow and Romeo had dropped the 'Lil' part of their rap names when they grew up, the Deathmatch crew murdered them so they could be brought back as their 'Lil' selves with the Deathmatch time machine. Bow Wow and Romeo are both murdered before the match by the Deathmatch crew so they could be brought back as children. Lil' Romeo bleeds to death when Lil' Bow Wow chews off his genitals. Also featuring Master P, Lil' Romeo's father.

Fight 2: Lil Wayne walks past his stepfather's gun cabinets three times and shot himself with a pistol, a machine gun, and a bazooka (all in that order). The death occurs off-screen, but Lil Wayne's charred and headless corpse was shown afterwards. Lil Wayne's death is based on him accidentally shooting himself with a gun when he was twelve.

Fight 1: Carlos Mencia's neck is ripped open by the Taco BellChihuahua. This fight was one of the winning votes in MTV2's pre-season internet poll.

Fight 2: Ashlee shoves a stool and bucket into her Old Nose's nostrils, triggering a powerful sneeze which killed the nose. Shaun White's head is bashed in by a flying tomato, which is smashed by Shaun White's skateboard. This was another pre-season Internet poll winner.

Fight 1: Adrian Grenier is split in half at the torso when Jeremy Piven gives him a bear hug.

Fight 2: Russell Simmons is decapitated by a roundhouse kick. Also featuring God.

Fight 1: While showing Jessica Simpson the correct use of a hand grenade (she throws one without pulling out the pin), Nick Lachey puls out the release pin and blows himself up. Also featuring Kristin Cavallari, Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera, and Joe Simpson.

Fight 2: 50 Cent 'shoots' The Game with the nine bullets he had in his body.

Fight 1: Anna Kournikova is decapitated with a headbutt from Danica Patrick but does not die immediately. She lives long enough to lob her own head at Danica Patrick, who herself is decapitated by Anna Kournikova's projectile head.

Fight 2: Chris Pontius is torn in half and decapitated by Zupan's modified wheelchair.